Exodus

So last night two things happened.

1. I began to pray again, out loud. I asked God if he wanted me to stay here or leave. If so then do something about it. I told him, that I know I might be sound immature. basically that if a blind man would argue that the sky is a dark dark green instead of blue, thats how i felt my questioning sounded. As if my uneducated complaint was about to swing full force. How am I to know that what I am, who I am and where I am is correct? Have I been mistaking signs and interpreting them any way I wish, interpretations that benefit me.

2. I had a vivid dream that involved a homeless man, “armor shoes for feet.” and a girl that I have not seem in sometime. It was weird because it felt real. The homeless man recognized me immediately and began to strike up a conversation. For some reason I could tear my eyes away from his feet. He said that I shall to  have them, “Lets look at the catalog…” After that I went to my room where this girl, Jen was there, asked me one question, “Would you like me to lay next to you as a friend or a lesbian?” And I replied, “Friend.” She then laid down and I woke up.

3. Today I have been incredibly irritated because i’ve had this strong desire to be somewhere else, to be some one else. And that feeling has been directed towards California, where I grew up, what I would call home. I only would call it home because I do not feel as though Tennessee is my home. So I really feel as though I don’t have a constant home.

So where do I got from here?